Where's the MIDOL
by Missmishka
Summary: Mostly Logan's POV on some 'feminine problems' at the institute. :-P


Disclaimer: The X-Men belong to Marvel Comics and I lay all blame for my twisted stories at the feet of that company as well. Don't sue me, pwetty pwease.

Author's Note: This lil piece won't appeal to all readers 'cause of what it's about. I'll leave y'all to guess how I came to be inspired to write it and yes, your first guess is probably correct. I rate it PG for a few curse words I think I threw in. Also, girls reading this – TRUST me Midol is da bomb! If it doesn't seem to be helping you right away chug some caffeine with it and it'll kick in like a dream. :-) I really should buy stock in that company. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**__**

Where's The MIDOL?!

Rogue groaned and rolled grumpily from bed, shoving her sleep tousled hair from her face.

Standing she placed a hand on her cramping abdomen and groaned again before going to her dresser to pull out her clothes for the day.

Behind her, Kitty was finally stirring to the call of her own alarm clock.

"Ugh, I like totally hate this!"

Turning Rogue saw her roommate groaning softly and holding her own stomach.

"Dibs on the bathroom!"

"No way! I like need it first," Kitty rose from her bed to rush around gathering her own supplies for her bathroom visit.

"I woke up first, I get it first," Rogue growled before rushing from the room down the hall to the bathroom.

Kitty was right behind her and both girls slammed into the only girls' bathroom on their floor.

"The Professor totally needs to rethink the bathroom situation here," Kitty moaned.

Rogue only grunted and rushed into the shower stall to clean herself up. 

She wanted so much to linger under the hot spray of water, but knew she couldn't and stepped from the shower after only a five-minute scrub down.

Towel wrapped securely around herself, she moved to the sinks where Kitty was frantically pulling everything from the medicine cabinet.

"What?"

Kitty turned pained, disbelieving eyes to meet hers at Rogue's question.

"There's no more Midol!"

Gasping, Rogue joined the other girl in searching every nook and cranny of the bathroom for a bottle or even a single pill of the pain-reliever they needed so much.

__

~~PROFESSOR!!!!~~

~*~*~

"Why is it so hot in here?!" Rogue growled as she fanned herself and moved to lower the setting on the thermostat.

__

Oh man, Logan thought as he easily detected what was causing Stripes' bad mood.

"Like, whoever keeps playing with the temperature is sooooo dead. It's freezing in here!"

Logan groaned inwardly as the half-pint strode past him toward the thermostat, rubbing her arms against the chill she imagined in the air.

__

Both of them?

Making his way into the kitchen he wondered if the Professor had any excuse for him to get away from the institute for about a week.

In the kitchen he saw Cyke seated at the table eating on a bowl of cereal and watching the doorway for Red.

__

Was I ever that pathetically obvious with a woman?

__

Nah, he instantly rejected the idea. 

He was the Wolverine. He wanted a gal he went and got her, no need to sit around pinin' for her or waiting for her to come to him.

Jean entered the room just as Logan sat down at the table to eat the breakfast he gotten himself.

He looked up at the girl sharply as he caught the change in her scent.

**__**

Dear God, not all of them at once!

He definitely needed to get away from this place.

"Want some breakfast?" Scott was asking.

"No thank you. If I eat anything at all these darn pants will burst," Jean replied somewhat nicely.

The boy looked up at her answer and ran his eyes over her trim figure. His gaze lingered on the way her jeans pressed into her stomach and he frowned.

Logan didn't need to read minds to know the idiot was going to saw something, so he rushed to finish his breakfast while he still could.

"You know, those jeans do look tight. Maybe you should change into something more comfortable, Jean."

Logan groaned aloud at those words and shook his head sadly at the fact he wouldn't get to eat anything else.

Red's whole body had gone stiff and she was slowly turning her head to look at her idiot boyfriend.

Rising Logan debated staying to watch the fireworks or getting out of the room before the girl realized there was another man present.

In situations like this, anything male became a target not just the dumbass who'd said something to set the woman off.

"Are. You. Saying. I'm FAT?!"

Spoonful of cereal halted halfway to his mouth, Scott looked up to see Jean's green eyes shooting daggers at him.

"Uh…no…of course not. Just that those jeans look tight," he stammered.

"I just bought them last week and you thought they looked great on me then. Do you mean to say they don't NOW?!"

The table was beginning to shake from her fury and Scott gulped.

"Um…I…I…uh…. HEY! What was that for?"

Seconds after those startled words and a clatter of dishes, Jean came storming out of the kitchen and past the spot where Logan had been unashamedly listening in.

Thinking it may be safe to eat something now, Logan peeked into the room.

He threw his dark head back and laughed at the sight before him.

"I…I…wha…I…"

Scott sat where he'd been earlier, trying to figure out how it is he was now sitting there with his bowl of cereal laying upended over his head and Logan's remaining breakfast in his lap.

Milk running down his face, the boy looked up at the laughing Logan in the doorway.

"I just wanted her to be comfortable."

The man doubled over and howled with laughter at those words.

~*~*~

"Ah, Logan, I've been looking for you," the Professor said as he wheeled over to Logan in the garage.

The man looked up from the motorcycle he was working on with an arched brow.

"I've got a little favor I need to ask of you. Some things I need from town."

Thinking how much he wanted to get away from the girls around here before they destroyed the place, or at least all the men in it, Logan practically jumped at the thought of an assignment.

Smiling gratefully at his reaction, the Professor handed him a shopping list.

Automatically Logan looked down at the list now in his hand.

"No way, bub. I ain't getting this. Send Storm."

"Ororo is…indisposed at the moment and has told me to tell you that if you don't do this shopping for her you'll be, and I quote, 'eating lightning bolts for a week.'"

Growling at that bit of information, Logan gripped the list in his hand and nodded that he'd do this chore.

"You owe me, bub."

~*~*~

Two hours later he arrived back at the institute and was attacked by the women the second he walked through the front doors.

"What took you so long?" Rogue snarled.

"Where's the Midol?" Jean and Kitty both demanded.

Ororo simply moved forward to tear the bags from his hands and dig through them for the feminine products she needed.

While those four fought over the two bottles of Midol he'd gotten as well as other products he vowed never to even think of again, Logan heard BoomBoom screaming at Bobby in the living room.

Her furious shouts were followed quickly by the Iceboy running into the foyer where the others stood only seconds before the explosion sounded.

__

Looks like I'll have plenty of cleaning up to do, he thought as Tabitha chased after Bobby. 

The blonde came to a skidding halt in the foyer as she saw the others.

"Finally!" she exclaimed before rushing forward to join in the cat fight brewing behind him for the menstrual pain reliever.

Any other time, he'd have oiled them up and sat back to watch the girls go, but he was no idiot.

He did what any sane man should do and fled to find the others.

He found them all hiding in the Danger Room and they all jumped when the doors opened to admit him.

"Ah, good. Itz you," the elf said when Logan strode into the room.

The blue boy sat back down to cradle his apparently aching head in his hands.

Bobby, Scott, Hank, Ray, Evan, and Jamie also showed signs of having had serious run-ins with the menstruating mutants upstairs.

The Professor, Roberto and Cannonball all just seemed to be taking shelter there to make sure they didn't sustain any injuries.

"You're back," the Professor sighed.

Logan arched a brow at the man's obvious relief.

"Are they otherwise occupied now?"

"Yeah. Fighting in the foyer," Logan said.

All the boys present exhaled gratefully at that news.

"Do you think it's safe to get out of here yet?" Evan asked.

"No vay. I'm not goink out zhere again! Zhose girls be buggin' out big time," Kurt said, yellow eyes wide with confusion.

"How long does it take that Midol they kept asking for to work?" Scott asked.

"Not soon enough," Ray said rubbing the spot on his shoulder that Storm had zapped with lightning.

"We'll just lay low here for an hour then get to our rooms," Hank suggested and all the 'men' nodded their agreement.

~*~*~

For the next four days the males at the mansion cowered in shadows and ran from any hint of a female presence.

They cringed at the sounds of bickering girls complaining about the temperature of rooms and discussing their 'feminine problems.'

Their hearts froze in fear when a female voice rose to demand, "Where's the Midol?" and only started beating again when some answer was given as to the miracle drug's location.

Finally, by the end of the week it was safe to breathe again without getting their heads bitten off for daring to do such a thing.

The nightmare was over for that month and the X-Men sighed their relief.

Back to normal, Ororo made to protest to the Professor's order to go out and buy every bottle of Midol the local stores had in stock to avoid this trauma in the future.

The girls were all excited by the announcement that construction of another bathroom facility for them would begin immediately.


End file.
